Smiles

A "smiles are free" policy works for a multinational corporation like McDonald's, but I can't afford to outsource my SMILES.

This is just what it sounds like. I will smile, take a photo of me smiling, and email you the photo. A new smile will be generated for each order. I will NOT simply resell smiles meant for someone or something else. 

I guarantee authentic smiles (not forced), although I do not guarantee satisfaction. You must include your email in the "special instructions" field to get your smile. Delivery of smiles may be delayed somewhat, depending on life circumstances.

"If you like capitalism, you'll love Jon's smiles!" — Slavoj Žižek impersonator